Forced To Channel My Inner Obi-Wan Kenobi

The Return of the Modern Philosopher

Obi Wan I discovered today that my couch has a hidden tractor beam, Modern Philosophers.

I stumbled upon this fact as I was trying to get off the couch to go for my morning run.  No matter what I tried, however, I could not break free.  I was a prisoner in The House on the Hill.

Since I was convinced that Star Wars references were the order of the day, I summoned my inner Jedi for help.  “Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you are my metabolism’s only hope“.  I repeated that mantra until old Ben slipped past the stormtroopers, made his way to the tractor beam’s power source, and released me from its mighty grip.

Once I was freed from the couch, I shot out of The House on the Hill faster than the Millennium Falcon making the Kessel Run.  I was a quarter of a mile up Sate Street before…

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